window

I've been staring at the blank blog editor for some time now.

There's been many times I've opened up this window to stare, only to close it a few minutes later with the excuse that "I'll find the words to blog later"

It's been weird because

• I can't find it in me to blog about work without going into the details of things, which would then be a potentially sensitive issue and I'd rather things remain neutral than for me to tip the scales over/under. Does this make any sense?
  
• I can't skim across the work-related stuff if I do, because then I'll hate the way I sound like a stereotypical "PMEB", thinking she knows everything about working life but has no idea how other 'top' people cope with theirs
  
• There's always the inner me clawing at every chance to translate my emotions into words, but without other topics to balance things, I risk turning my blog into an emo-feed
  
• Love. That's the most frightful thing. Feelings are the most volatile. Today I might love this and the next day it's the bane of my life. I like to be certain about things and putting feelings down makes it very definitive, physical thing. Which isn't, and I'd rather pretend to not have it at all

I know what you're thinking:it's just.. blogging. 

I love writing. But a friend once told me that a writer is only a true writer when he finds it uncomfortable not writing every day.

For me I sometimes dread it. Writing is such a personal thing. It's the window to one's self. You let people peer in and see what's inside.

That's why I like to control what people can see through that window, which social media has made a whole lot harder.

Bah, what an awful lot of rubbish for something that'll only be seen by a few people. Moronic, I am. Till then!