Something happened to the internet today; I only realized something was wrong with it and not with me after making a few (an understatement) fruitless trips to and fro between Pork's computer and mine.

I have began to take these little technical faults in stride - the same thing happened to my game the other day, the world just crashed out of the blue, and Pork startled me by rushing through the door and announcing, 'It's down!'

Today I gave up after some fiddling and when Ying called to complain that after going over to my place, my Singnet connection didn't prove to be much of any comfort either, I accepted it.. because at least people were getting equally frustrated as well as I was.

So I settled down in bed with some dried apricots, and while enjoying thoroughly the coolness of the breeze against my skin, finished Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. It was alright, I suppose. The day before I had read Beijing Doll and the whole whirlwind of events within that little book hadn't quite settled down in me yet, so I had difficulties ploughing through this heavily detailed novel.
I wouldn't recommend Beijing Doll as a novel though, but more of something you flip through during a long ride on the train, just to past time.

This Christmas wasn't celebrated in the same fashion as I'd done so in the previous years. It was plain, simple, and well, boring. But that was what made it stand out from all the others. I was especially fond of the last minute shopping, little girly gossips we exchanged while sitting somewhere sipping our expensive iced tea/ milkshake/ whatever tea without the boys.
I received a mp3 player from the Pork, Goonfather and Mrs Goonfather, to which I was so touched and delighted I was on the verge of crying happy tears. And of course, a lovely pair of earphones from Kelpedia. They're not just any earphones, they're earplugs. I think Kel's secret wish to Santa this year to is have me get more in touch with my inner world so I would stop polluting the adult world with my incessant chatter.

For three days I had my biological clock in a mess. I slept when I wasn't supposed to and woke up unbelievably early. It was so screwed up that I had 'missed' one day from all that madness. And I recalled, wasn't I supposed to appear with some flowers at Vivocity to support my friends' carolling - my favourite Christmas event? Wasn't I supposed to go to some Christmas play? Or buy some presents for my cousins and Ying who had just flown back from the States?

Bah. Now the Christmas is over, I have new things to worry about. One overdue assignment, another upcoming assignment, and a test on the week I'm back in school.
I'm scaring myself because I'm starting to question the worth of my studies, the exact same feeling I got which what led to me giving up my first year in JC altogether. I think I just have to find that momentum and sink back into it again. Riiiiight.

There are approximately 8 days more before Christmas ends, so, Seasons Greetings everyone!

Some time ago, we caught a few glimpses of fireworks at Vivo City's Grand Opening. Nothing else enthralls me as much as fireworks. It's deafening, causes pollution, but its beauty surpasses everything else.

I like the way they dissolve quietly into the sky. It's as if there's no clear end, no conclusion. I like things without conclusions. Because I don't have to ponder about the way things end or get emotional just because I disagree with the endings.

I remember Jalid and I, we were discussing in-game about his hometown. I forgot where he lives, but he told me his town was renowned for fireworks. Most famous in Japan, he said. The next day, he sent me a few pictures, telling me, I think wen-san will love.
And I did.

I'm home alone today. It gets kind of depressing sometimes. I hate being in a dilemma with myself; I hate having to choose and feeling bad about it, or not choosing and end up pitying myself. Oh well. That's the way things work. I need some fireworks!

Counting today, I've missed a whole week of school - and no, I'm not proud of it. The germs are overwhelming me in the worst way possible, and I hate it how my symptoms mysteriously start to occur more frequently the hour I intend to leap up healthily from bed for school.

I've gotten better at comforting myself and coming up with plausible excuses for myself.
Because I worry too much. I tell myself unconvincingly that I can read up on my own, the math questions can be practiced, no problem, and I can always grab a recording of the lecture if I really wanted to.
Argh, I'm bound by incessant worrying. Someone free me from these shackles please.

Porky has been getting more moody lately. I gather it's because of his new job. When he gets home he gets really quiet, and his face reveals wrinkles of exhaustion.
Usually in these situations my extra (irritating) chirpy self takes over. But when I'm sick, it's lying dormant somewhere.
So you have two moody people confined to their rooms, their eyes glued to a world of fantasy.

You know, blog titles should be banned. They suit people who love to confine themselves to a particular agenda, and today I'm not one of them.

I'm feeling a little wonky. Guilty. Moody. Worried.

I think it's unhealthy to stay indoors for 4 days straight. Worry cells multiply exponentially when you're alone and bored.

By the way, Santa's approaching. And I'm so devoid of any Christmas-sy tingles. Help! Santa please send me a big basket of love and happiness.

EDIT: Thanks to Minou for this, I officially have a new worry: How to break Level 11.

I got kicked out of Norrath today.
I got agitated first with SOE, then the internet when I realized everything else was lagging.

How could they take my game from me when I'm a poor patient infested with germs?
Why is my backup game of Literati with the Pork not let off the hook?

I was so angry, I was about to slam the keyboard and smash my monitor in. I grumbled to Elyxia about the internet speed. I complained to the Cat about being kicked out of game.

After calming down, I mused about how dependent I've become on the internet. Without it, I've transformed into an ugly, impatient monster. It's scary what the Digital Age has done to people.

Argh. When is my internet becoming better? =(