I was feeling down and out, so I called zx out for a little fun, to which he readily agreed.
I got a little tipsy but the crappy music sobered me up. Then I rushed zx back home early because I learnt that yach took leave to surprise him the next morning.
Then he texted me that he was going to stay up for soccer and I almost fainted. All my efforts, wasted!

Yesterday my favourite store, Phuture London was having a mega sale. I mean mega, HUMONGOUS. Prices were slashed til so low, I cursed at them for retailing it at such a high price in the first place when they could afford letting it go that low.
Not that I'm complaining. I was a happy girl, giggling myself silly when I checked the price tags. I comtemplated getting out of the store empty handed, but how could I! There was no way I was going home and leaving the pretty clothes thrown on the racks. And besides, quoting Yenny, since I "don't have much clothes anyway" I figured I needed another top in my wardrobe.
Yeah, so I left the store with an empty wallet but extremely fulfilled smile.

I'm so bored, I'm thinking of packing up my wardrobe. Someone please date me out! (Yeah I know, I need a job.)
Marcus is leaving on the 8th, and I'm still thinking of what to get him. I was both moved and surprised when he asked me to send him off on the 8th. I still have a long to go before sorting out my feelings though.

Anyway! The whole world is working, I'm the only one bumming at home. Argh.

My darling friend, Yenny, is $169 poorer today.

We saw a gorgeous dress at the Heeren today. Can't remember the shop name, but apparently all their clothing are exclusive and come only in a single piece each. Anyway, though it didn't fit the exact bill of a summer dress, it was versatile enough to be both casual and formal.

Before I could drag yenny out of the store, I heard the dreaded words:
"I'll take it."
Melvin, I've failed you.

I must say it was a worthwhile buy though. I mean, how many times do you see a "that's it!" dress?

I need money. I need it badly, now!
Does anyone have any office job to recommend? Yes, I'm looking for a job, finally. Haha.

I was thinking about my life in TJC and realized that as bad as I made it sound, I really missed some of the joy it'd brought me.
Like my classmates for example. Not particularly close to any one of them, but enough to hold conversations filled with laughter.

I miss siti, fungus, yenn, peipei, jian, zhixian, xuguang .. ok better stop before I list out the whole group of us. And I hope this part in Vitamin C's song stands true for us :
And as our lives change, come whatever, we will still be Friends Forever.

Hmmm. On a lighter note. It's been years since I last snuggled under my covers and talked on the phone till the wee hours of the morning. I guess I'm happy now

I never thought I'd be saying this, but.. I had a great time clubbing yesterday.

The novelty of clubbing had died down after a few unexciting trips. It was all the same - pay unreasonable charges for drinks, get high and dance, get picked up by lousy guys, go home broke and exhausted.

Okay, yesterday's trip had all of the above, but it was just... different. I enjoyed it thoroughly, to my own surprise.

We were lucky enough to get into MOS without the long queue we had expected (FHM night yesterday).
I had my ID checked by the bouncer - as usual, they never fail to check mine. Not that I mind, of course, I was flattered to be considered below 18.
Thwarting his good looks was the stern expression on his face. He scrutinized my ID and looked at my face a couple of times before allowing me in.
I cheered silently at the familiar beat. R&B rocks, it never fails to raise my spirits. It wasn't long before we had our bodies swaying to the music, though Yenny and peipei complained that it was too slow.
What's the matter ladies, it's still R&B!

Peipei introduced me to a cocktail that tasted like blackcurrant juice. I finished my drink quickly, I was eager to get down to the dance floor. I loved the crowd and the music, the whole place was like a wen magnet.
It didn't take us long to warm up to the music. Both of them were already doing their silly dance moves and I joined in once in a while to do peipei's oohmpaloompah move.
But it wasn't enough, and I decided I needed to get my friends to groove more.
So I got them to drink up my favourite drink and was delighted to find that the alcohol content was above what I'd expected.
Needless to say, we got wilder with our dancing and were enjoying ourselves very much.

Because of the FHM event, there were more guys than usual. We found ourselves constantly surrounded by men trying to cut in on us. So we took turns playing mother hen, protecting each other while dancing.
It was fun totally ignoring all the men. One guy came up to me and asked me, "What's your name?" I rolled my eyes and told him, "Go away, can't you see I'm dancing?" I was being mean because I didn't like the way he kept trying to cut in on me. Yenny and peipei cheered me for my boldness.
The dance floor that night was filled with desperate men preying on girls to dirty dance with. I saw Geraldine (and was informed that she took part in FHM contest, omg) and went over to say hi. She looked surprised and in a matter of seconds, she was surrounded by at least 10 guys dancing in a circle around her, with her doing sexy dance moves. I was disgusted and went back to yenny and pei.
Then we got approached by this bunch of china guys and yen and pei just pushed me to fend them off, boohoo, what good friends I have.

We decided to stay till the club chased us out, which happened at 4am. Pei was a little disappointed because she still hadn't had enough fun.
Took a cab back and had my cheese prata.. Yummy! Stayed at yen's place to talk until about 730 in the morning. People, please do not visit peipei's blog because she has posted a hideous picture of us AFTER clubbing, without make up, and dark circles because of lack of sleep.

This is stupid. I'm thinking of our next night out already. Someone stop me.

P.S. would a guy kindly volunteer to come along on our next trip though? I'm getting sick and tired of getting approached. Some guys just plainly do not understand that there are girls who actually come clubbing to have fun , and not to know guys. :(

I love long bus rides home when I'm alone.

My favourite songs playing through my earphones, the world moving past me. And me, enjoying the peace in my seat. Thoughts are free to roam, memories welcome to pay a visit on this special moment.
Ah, bliss.

If I had my way, I would very much love to go back to the rural days. When all we had were horse carriages and the Earth in her natural form. And oh, mp3 players would be a bonus.

Nature is such a wonderful thing, don't you think? How the trees create a beautiful canopy in the day.. how the stars form their art pieces in the sky..
Someone once told me this,
"The most beautiful architecture may take me months or years to forget. But nature? Never."
And it's true. Every day as I walk back home, I still smile at the sky, the big patch of grass beside the MRT station, because each time it gives me a different feeling, a different reason to smile.
It's such a pity we are gradually ruining the very thing that supported us through the centuries. Kind of sad, really.



Sunset at Kembangan. Taken about a year ago, on my handphone. The wonderful things nature can create.

Yesterday I brought Charmayne to watch the Chinese Cultural Festival at the Botanic Gardens.
Well, she wanted to see Marcus so I brought her there so she could see him perform.

The place was crowded with people. They brought mats, their families, their dogs (Charmayne was wailing "Ah Yi!!" all the way when she saw one).
We found a nice shady spot and Charmayne instantly plopped herself on my lap.
I had very bad cramps after that.

There were dances, singing and drums. And Kelly Poon! Too bad didn't catch her to get a picture taken.
After everything ended Charmayne started climbing up and down stairs while waiting for Marcus, and driving me crazy.
Up, down, up, down.
"Min, stop it already."
"Okay."

THEN she started sliding down the sides.
Up, down, up, down.

"Min, dangerous!"
"Fun!"
"Okay, we go have fun later, stop now okay?"
"No, Marcus korkor is not here yet!"
"Uh..."

Thank goodness he came out and she stopped her nonsense, but went hysterical upon seeing him.
I'm having second thoughts about kids after looking after my niece.
Oops, won't spoil anything for those who really like kids. Hehe.

"This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vangquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.

The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

I had no regrets watching it. Thumbs up for V for Vendetta.
It did leave me baffled and confused at some parts though. After straightening it out with SM, I realized it may be because I didn't have full understanding of what the "real world" was.

Yesterday night I couldn't sleep though it was 4 am. I lay in bed thinking what a dangerous place this world was.
And what the Goonfather pointed out -
"The people choose not to believe, because if they do, they suddenly find the world so scary. So they rather not believe it."

It's pretty terrifying, to know that I have a long way to grow up before fully grasping all of that - what motives lie beneath people who pretend, and what people are capable of doing to rob power.

Ewww. Think I'll go play catching, read comics or something to remind myself that I'm still a child, I'll think about all the deep logic stuff later.

I'm the Great Procrastinator.

Here's a list of the things I really have to do, but have been put on the hold because of my procrastinating habit.

1. Apply for university course
2. Convince myself that I do not have to wait until 31st March to do it.
3. Sign up for my Basic Theory
4. Convince myself that I should sign up
5. Wake up in time to sign up
6. Tell myself that it's REALLY worthwhile to sign up, in exchange for a few moments of peace with Ma.

Sigh. It's really hard trying to complete these 2 tasks you know. =(

Yesterday, I walked the long way home.

I used to avoid it like a plague.
I didn't want to remember what the journey on that road would bring me.
Nor did I like the feeling of restraining myself from turning my head.

It was stupid, really. All these years, it became a habit, a reflex action.
Back then whenever I walked past, I always turned to look, to know if he was home safe and sound or guess his current mood, judging by his room lights. White lights meant he probably was busy studying or gaming, yellow lights meant he was probably relaxing and chilling out.
It gave me a sense of peace, I would always walk home with a smile on my face. It was a very warm feeling, to know that your loved one was tucked up nicely in his room.

It became a very painful to walk that road back, or be in a cab home via that road. There were times when I forgot and looked by accident. Or times where I wanted to look but held back. And times when I let go and looked when I wanted to.

So yesterday was an accident. His room lights were off, but the toilet lights were on.
I remembered bracing myself for the dread and hurt that was about to come.
Not a tinge.
And like an idiot, I smiled and carried on walking home.

I guess it's time to stop avoiding things and come clean with myself. I felt like I made a big step forward towards my goal of forgetting.
It was a weird feeling. A mixture of guilt, sadness, happiness, uncertainty...

One step at a time.

Today we did another crazy thing.
He'd decided that meeting at Kallang wouldn't be an effective run for us.

So, Fort Road it was.

Okay, sure, I thought. Wouldn't make much of a difference to the Kallang run, would it?
I was wrong!
Running to the end of East Coast was pretty torturous for me, because I kept craning my neck to see if East Coast had ended. Although it was my 2.4km run route during my secondary school days, I had absolutely no recollection of the distance..
There were no MRT stations for me to cheer silently to, only trees, and more trees.
It was definitely longer than the Kallang run, I was desperately fighting to keep my breakfast within my stomach when I stopped.

We met up and went for a drink at KFC, gosh, the queue was horrendous. I was drenched in perspiration, my throat was dry.. but we perservered with the queue anyway.

After we'd pretty much cooled down, we visited our old school. Nothing really changed much, the atmosphere was still the same, but I felt a tinge of excitement at being back at a place I enjoyed my education life the most.
Then it was a game of basketball.
Oh no, am I old or what? I was wheezing within minutes, I had no idea it would be so tiring. I think it would be a wiser idea to stick to netball.

So here I am, 6 hours later after my run, freshly showered and smelling nice.
And extremely tired.
It was fun though! Never thought being back in Dunman would stir up so many feelings within me. Maybe TJ basically just sucked for me, so DHS was like a holy place to me, hurhur.

Maybe we should change the route though. Running to Tanjong Rhu from Kembangan is no joke!

Flying around in my carpet around the Sinking Sands sure beats the terrible gastric/tummyache/rioting stomach worms I'm having now.

Ouch. )=

On the way to my cousin's wedding dinner, I handed Dad a CD I'd just burned.

It sounded great with his superb sound system (thank goodness I have a Dad who is obsessed with making his car sound good).

"Who's this?" Mum asked.
"I can't hear what he's singing."

"Jay Chou, Ma."

"Har? Jay Chow (smelly)? Ha ha ha! His name so funny, hor?"

"Mum.. it's Jay CHOU."

But she continued laughing throughout half of the car ride anyway.

*********

The wedding dinner was a little .. depressing for me. I was very happy for hans kor kor, but I think they need to put me at a table away from all my aunties who are discussing about MY marriage with my parents.

Hello, I'm just 19.
It's a little scary.

I'll blog more about it when I have the time.

Argh, aunties.

I love cleaning up for other people, and arranging their things neatly.
But although I love cleanliness, I hate the act of keeping my things in order.
In short, I'm very organised when I'm dealing with things that do not belong to me.

Hence, the state of my drawer now.
It has been my secret dumping ground just to upkeep the image of my spick and span table.

There are pictures strewn everywhere, little plastic bags, unopened ang pows, used ice skating gloves, a free calendar, unopened presents, unused make-up and a whole load of junk.

I seriously should do something about it, haha!

Maroos and I were joking about jogging together, and all of a sudden, the joke wasn't a joke anymore.
We decided that there was no way we could actually go about doing it, because he lives at Balestier and I, Kembangan.
So meeting in the middle, Kallang, seemed like the best choice.

My run to Kallang was... weird.
I was more worried about losing my way (as usual) than anything. Thankfully I found my way, though it involved many weaving in and out just to get close to the MRT tracks.
It was a nice 45 minute run that involved alot of cigarette smoke, car exhaust in the way.

I met up with M about 15 minutes after I reached, both of us had no idea that the run would be so .. short.
It seems like a long way, really, but from what I estimated.. it was probably about 8 km or so for me.
So, we went for some soya bean to quench our thirst and then I suggested something stupid.

"We're stinky and all that, let's go to Orchard!"

He looked at me. And laughed.
"Yeah, let's go!"

"I was joking!"
But we were already off and running to the MRT.

We ended up at Bugis instead, because M wanted to take a picture and I decided Orchard was too much. I was in FBTs, he was in a shirt and basketball shorts..
Nah, Bugis seemed like a tamer idea.

It was really fun, I wish he would ask me to do it again.
It just feels bad though because I doubt he would, since .. I don't know..

真的搞不懂。。。人为什么会这么复杂？
好想得到那把钥匙，把一切的苦恼解开。

好烦啊。

I was made to go down to the General Office because I didn't pay my library fines.
Before I left, Andy Goh said to me,
"Let me know if you need anyone to talk to after you see your results."

I didn't think too much of it. I was used to how he always made me sound stupid though I knew I wasn't.

There was a long queue when I reached, and I was muttering profanities under my breath. I got my result slip, got to a corner, took a good look at it.

Now, this is the first time I'm looking at my own results firsthand for a major exam.
When I got my PSLE results, I begged my classmate to look at it for me because I didn't want to face the music of not studying (I was hooked on a silly online game then).
I got an aggregate of 265.
During the O Levels, I scanned through my slip but I was so nervous I got Carol to calculate my points for me.
I scored 9 points for 6 subjects.

Now, as I looked at my own results,
My heart sank.
I had expected bad results, but nothing came close to what I got.
It was terrible.

I felt stupid. I felt like a JJC or YJC person who had no brains and yet struggled through JC education.

Instantly I did a very Huiwen thing -- I brushed my disappointment aside, and called Mum to inform her.
And then I continued locking my emotions up.

This morning as I was leafing through the papers, I stopped to read at my daily horoscope in Life!

"Thank someone for being in your life -- especially if it's been far too long since you two last talked. Not only will he be thrilled to hear from you, but you also might find that an old spark still creates some heat."

I laughed at it, there was no way I was going to randomly find someone who I havent been talking to for a while to chat him up.

At 330pm, someone from a long time ago texted me.
It was Marcus.
Marcus was my puppy love. Won't go into history here, but he was a really sweet guy while we lasted.
"Boon.. how did you do?"

I told him the truth and said I did really horrendously, that there was no hope of me trying for a local university.
So we chatted a bit, and decided to meet up for coffee.

He was still the sweet funny guy I knew, and I had a great time talking to him. He told me he wanted to watch a movie, Under World ("Huh? Underwater World?" I asked, very suaku-ly)
And I insisted on watching I Not Stupid Too, "Because my friend is acting in it!"

So we caught the movie at Tiong Bahru.
Oooh qy, you look so HOT as a pregnant mama! I was giggling in every shot shey appeared, the people around me must have thought I was nuts.

He cheered me up alot about my horrible results. And it was true about one part - "you also might find that an old spark still creates some heat"
Well, everyone knows I don't like guys my age, but still, I found myself being intrigued by him. Too early to say anyway.

I'm still blaming someone for failing my Biology paper. The very paper that commenced the day after he broke up with me.
The paper which I gave up on because I couldn't think, couldn't write as my tears were flowing and smudging the ink everywhere.
The paper where I stopped writing and put my pen down, stared at the clock willing its hands to move faster so I could go home.

Still, there's no one to blame but myself. Why am I paying for our mistake?
Why is he enjoying life out there, single while I failed a paper because of what he did to me?
I'm still bitter about it.

Anyway, we're meeting up for another outing this weekend. We've asked a few friends to join up this time. I can't wait to meet them all!